"Jealous" is watching!

God is jealous. Did you know that? He's jealous for your time, for your affection, for your commitment, for your devotion.
I have a thought brewing about the sins of the fathers. Exodus 20:5 God calls Himself "jealous", "punishing the children for the sins of their fathers to the third and fourth generations"....ouch. What does that mean, exactly? Is that even fair, or is it simply what happens to us as a result of falling away from God's plan?

As a child, I didn't have my father living with me. It took a lot of time to realize that even though I could BE with my dad like other kids, that he still loved me even though he couldn't BE with me every day. I struggled with strange thoughts in my head about things that never happened in my life, but when I wrote them down in stories found out that some of the stuff that had been happening in my imagination (frightening me to death) was actually REAL stuff that my mom had experienced herself. It turns out that some of the things that had been tormenting me in my dreams/imagination were actually echoes of what she and her sisters had gone through in an abusive home. It was so confusing, because as far as I knew, the things I had experienced in my life were nothing compared to what they had gone through, but for some reason, I FELT what they had learned to cover up in dealing with all this crap.
I had been born into a messed up family, and had automatically inherited a second-hand mess in my mind. They loved me, sure. But there was so much backstabbing, and hurt feelings that we were hardly the 'picture perfect' family so often seen on tv. As I started making close friends, I saw other families that were hardly 'picture perfect' and realized that maybe there's more to this whole thing about a sin-sick world after all.

On one hand, there's the habits that are passed down. The opinions, world views that you grew up with and adopted without even realizing that you had taken on your parent's identity in many ways.
On the other hand, there's God's ways, which we need to learn, and fight to take back. They are GOOD, and they bring LIFE to all who walk in them, but so few are actually WILLING to find out what it really means to walk out this 'other way' because it is so far removed from what the world tells us life is all about. It's hard. It's a struggle. But it's WORTH it. and look at the other side of it, in scripture;
"But I LAVISH my love on those who LOVE me and OBEY my commands, even for a thousand generations." Ex 20:6
So if I fight today to rediscover God's ways in my life, that doesn't just affect me, or my own life, but it will also affect my kids, and my kids' kids, for a THOUSAND generations! So maybe this whole thing of the "punish the children for the sins of the fathers" is actually a gift in some ways, to give us a deeper understanding of where our parents came from, and as they see their children struggling through the same things they did, God offers them a chance to step out of the pain they've been walking with, and to learn to embrace Jesus once again.
I don't know. It's a thought.